Heart to heart
by Nofx67900
Summary: Takes place after secrets. Jay is with Alex, Sean has came back and broke up with Ellie. He is now with Emma.a Jemma fanfic
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

(Emma POV)

'Here I am sitting here on this stupid couch once again. I always wonder to myself why I come to these parties and vow I won't go to another one. But yet here I am.'

She didn't want to go to the parties. She didn't like them. She didn't belong there. She knew it, he knew it, everyone at the parties knew it. She went because Sean wanted her to go. Since he came home, broke up with Ellie, and started going out with Emma things had been really different. And not a good different either. He became more wild. Going to the parties more, getting drunk. He didn't make her go to the parties. That's what she told herself. 'He never makes me go...I go because I want to go.'

Sometimes she'd actually believe it. But she knew it wasnt true. She went because if she ddin't he would 'punish' her. She remembered one she didn't go to one. He avioded her for a month. He didn't speak to her, didn't look at her. wouldn't even breathe her air. And when he wasn't mad at her anymore he acted like nothing ever happened. She didn't want that to happen again. In the beginning she really didn't care and tried to find any possible reason for her to not have to go. But in the end nothing worked. He even went as far as to check up on her one night to make sure she was really doing what she said she was.

But then the parties got really bad. Sean would just disappear and she wouldn't see him for hours. She never knew he he went either. That is until Alex started to disappear, too. She wasn't stupid. She knew what he was doing. Both her and Jay knew what was going on. They even talked about it one night.

Flashback  
_She was sitting alone on the couch waiting for Sean and Alex to come back. When Jay suddenly appeared and sat down on the couch next to her._  
_"What's up?" Jay asked sitting down. SHe looked nevrous to him._

_"Nothing" She hadn't really talked to him lately. Just a 'hi' 'hello' 'how are you' conversation. Nothing really big. It was weird talking to him._

_"They gone again?" She knew ho he was tlaking about, but she didn't want to answer him._

_"Yeah" She said really low. A whipser almost. HE barebly heard her._

_"You know what they're doing , right?" He wasn't trying to rub it in. He just wanted to make sure she knew what her boyfriend was doing with his girlfriend. What they were doing together.Behind their backs. _

_"Yeah I know." She souned okay with it, but he knew better._

_"So if you know what he's doing,why stay with him?" She offend wondered this herself. He brought her to these parties. No he made her go to these parties. And if she ddin't he would ignore her and make her feel like nothing at all. And why? He did all that just so she could be sitting on a couch talking to Jay while he was somewhere else doing God knows what with Alex! _

ALEX! A girl she hared. She made her like a living nightmare! And he didn't even try to hide that fact that he just left with her! So why did she stay with him? Why if she was in her right mind stay with him? Did she love him? No, she thought she didn't. The Sean she loved left along time ago and he wasn't coming back anytime soon. So why did she stay with him?

_"Yo? You okay?" Jay brought her out of her thoughts_

_"What? Yeah. I'm fine. I dunno if I can answer your question. About Alex and Sean I mean." She was being completely honest. She really had no clue why she stayed with him._

_"You love him?" Jay asked. He didnt know where this conversation was heading. But he didnt like it. He wasn't one to talk about his feelings and all this smushy crap._

_"No, I dont love him" He was waiting for the question he knew was coming._

_"Do you love Alex?" And there it was. The question he knew was coming, he was waiting for it, he really didn't want to answer it. But she answered his._

_"Well, No I dont think I love her. You know it was never really love with us. I've been with her for maybe 3 years now. It never really got to loe. Just comfotable. It's comfortable what we have. Neither one of us is looking for love. It's just comfortable, you know?" It was comfortable. They used each other. He wouldn't deny that. But it was comfortable._  
_  
"Im surprised he goes to Alex." He wasn't trying to be mean. But really. Why go to Alex, when you had Emma? He had had both. And there was no comparsion. _

"I probably wouldn't be good enough for him." Not that she would do anything with him. Not that he had even asked. She probably wouldnt be good enough for him though.

Jay laughed when she said this. She didn't know just how much better she was then Alex. In every aspect. Yeah, they were different. But Emma was an all around better person then she was. She would never know just how much better she was then Alex. Cameron really didnt deserve her.

"You're better then her." He didnt mean it in any way. Just in general.

"What do you mean?" He looked up into her eyes. He could tell she wanted something, but he didn't know what. For the first time, since the ravine he allowed his eyes to wonder. He hadn't looked at her in that way for a long time. She was waering old faded jeans that still looked great on her. They hugged her hips in all the right places. She had on an old sweatshirt and it said 'Degrassi' on the front. Her hair was perfectly combed as always. She wore little make-up, but she still looked great.

As his eyes wondered over her body, he didnt think she noticed it, but she did. She was going to move or something to show she was uncomfortable. But she missed the attention, and not from Sean. She missed the attention from him. She missed him looking at her this way that made shivers go up her spine. The last tiem he gave it to her, it was the night of the play. In the back of the stage. It was sort of a longing look. He was about to say something to her when he looked up and saw Alex and Sean walking down the stairs.

Alexs hair was all messed up, and you could tell she didn't have her bra anymore. Seans lips were swollen and his hodie was gone. Both of them were breathing heavy. Sean walked over to tell as Alex walked the other way. He went up to Emma and pulled her up and huggeed her. Jay could see the hurt and angry in her eyes. 'How can he hug her after what he just dud with Alex? Doesn't he know that she's not stupid? That she knows what he's doing? And that it's hurting her? Apparently not.'

And then Alex came around and sat next to Jay. She looked tired and leaned on him. But he stood up wanting nothing to do with it. 'If she's tired let her go and hang on Cameron. After all he's the one that made her tired, right?'

"Lets go. This place is getting boring. And by the looks of it you guys are tired." Jay said bending his head beginning to search for his keys. But not before he saw the look Sean shot his way. He didn't care though. 'He didn't like the truth? well then he should stop screwing my girlfriend and start caring about HIs girlfriends feelings' Jay thought what he had said was justified and thats all that mattered.He thought as he heaed out the doorway with Emma,Sean,and Alex trailing behind him.

Endflash Back

She remembered that night so well. They never talked about that night again. But she still always wondered what he meant by she was better then alex. His opinion of her couldn't be higher then his opinion of his own girlfriend, could it? 'Well my opinion of Jay is much better then my opinion of Sean. But look what Sean is doing to me. The same thing Alex is doing to Jay.' She thought. But he was Jay. She really couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Then there was a shadow hanging over her,and then she looked up and there he was. Jay was standing before her in his usual gear. Baggy pants, sort of baggy blue shirt with his oversized jacket on. And of course who could forget his hat on backwards with his sunglasses on the stop of his hat. He sat down next to her and she had a feeling they were about to have another heart to heart...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

(I put the last paragraph from chapter 1 in the beginning)

Then there was a shadow hanging over her,and then she looked up and there he was. Jay was standing before her in his usual gear. Baggy pants, sort of baggy blue shirt with his oversized jacket on. And of course who could forget his hat on backwards with his sunglasses on the stop of his hat. He sat down next to her and she had a feeling they were about to have another heart to heart...

"Hey." He said sitting down. She looked like she was deep in thought. And she looked angry. More then she usually was about this.

"Hi." She said quietly. She didn't really feel like talking about Sean and Alex right now.

" What's up?" He was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Yeah the whole Sean/Alex thing was probably the reason, but there was something else that was wrong with her.

"Nothing." She didn't feel like talking right now.

"OK, Emma, come on. Tell me what's wrong. What's the matter? Are you Okay?" She wasn't talking to him. That scared him. No matter how bad the Alex/Sean thing got she always talked to him. Why was she shutting him out now?

"What's wrong? Am I okay? How can you ask me that! My boyfriend and you're girlfriend are somewhere in this house doing whatever! And you can ask me if I'm ok? Doesn't it embarrass you? Everyone knows what they are doing! Doesn't it make you feel angry? Like you should walk around with your head down?" She didn't understand how he could ask her that. Everyone knew what Alex and Sean were doing! Everyone! Didn't it embarrass him that people thought that they weren't good enough for Sean and Alex?

He wasn't expecting her outburst. And he wasn't expecting what she said even more. He sat there trying to understand it all. Yeah so they were in this house somewhere doing things together. Yeah it made him angry. But embarrassed him? No, not really. And why would it?

"No it doesn't embarrass me. And it shouldn't embarrass you either. Yeah you're right everyone knows what they are doing. But so what? It doesn't mean people think less of you. It just shows them that Cameron is a player. And Alex is a slut. It doesn't say anything about us though."

"What does it say about us that we won't stop them?" She asked looking up at him for the first time since he had begun talking to her. 

"Emma we couldn't stop them from doing this anymore then we can stop time." He said truthfully. There was no many they could stop them. Either they could do it at the parties or at their homes. Either way they weren't going to be able to stop them. At least they know what they are doing, and they aren't doing it behind their backs.

"Still don't you wish you could hurt them back sometimes?" She knew she did.

"He's not trying to hurt you." Jay said slowly. He never wanted to tell her this, but he thought the time had comes that she knew the truth.

"What? Then what is he trying to do, Jay?" She didn't understand.

"H's not doing it to hurt you. He's doing it to punish me." When she just sat there and looked at him he continued.

"When he found out about the ravine and all that happened with that he was mad. I mean REALLY mad. He said that I hurt you and that I used you. And then I throw you away because you were 'tainted'. He said that I didn't deserve someone like you. And that i deserved to get hurt just like you did. But if he would just stop trying to hurt me for a second and look around him then he would see that he's not hurting me. He's hurting the thing he wants. And thats you. He doesn't understand that he's not hurting me because I couldn't care less what Alex does and who she does it with. He cares for you, he's just showing it in a really wrong way." He didn't even want to tell her that. But he thought he had to. To him it sort of mad what Sean was doing ok. And he didn't want her to think what Sean was doing was ok. He wanted her to hate Sean for what he was doing to her.

"No he doesn't. If he really cared for me then he wouldn't want to hurt you. He would except the fact that I did of my own free will and that you didn't make me do anything. I went to you. If he cared he would have talked to me about this. And if he really wanted to hurt you he could find a way without involing Alex. What he's doing is wrong. He is being such a jerk." She really couldn't believe he would do that. Jay and him were like best friends. And you don't do that to your friend.

"It doesn't matter, anymore. What's done is done." Jay said getting up.

"Where are you going?" She asked looking up at him.

"I'm going to get and get something to drink. Come with me." He said holding out his hand for her to take. She had never really got into the parties. She got there and sat on the couch till they left. She was sort of scared to actually go into the party.

"I never really leave the couch..." She said uncertainly.

"Oh come on. You can't just sit here all night like all theother times we go out. Come on. Don't worry I'll protect you from all the bad people." He said sort of mocking her, but she didn't mind. She took his hand and stood up and he led her through all the people.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked getting himself a beer.

"I don't drink." She said looking at all the people dancing, and how far it was to getting back to the couch.

"So you got up for nothing?" He asked beginning to laugh. She nodded and they started to walk back to the couch. They had to walk through all the people dancing to get to the couch. Emma didn't like walking through all of them. They were all pushing each other and trying to get in front of each other. 'And Jay wonders why I don't leave the couch. It's much safer then here.' She thought as she tried to get back to the couch. Suddenly she was pushed into Jay really hard which caused her to lose her footing.

"Ahh." She said more to herself then to anyone else. 'Okay never leaving the couch again at these parties.' She thought as Jay helped her regain her footing. When she looked up she realized just how close she was to him. Way to close' She thought mas she looked for anyway around this problem. 'But do I really want a way out of this problem' She thought to herself as she looked at him again. He was staring at her too. And then they began to get closer when...

"Jay, Emma! Come on! Lets go!" Sean was standing there with Alex both of them looking confused.

"Come on." Jay said leading her out of crowd of people. Emma went up to Sean and instead of the hug she always gets from him when he comes back he grabbed her arm and pulled her outside. With him mumbling a 'Lets go'

Jay laughed at this. 'He only knows somewhat of what shes feeling.' Alex came up to him looking pissed.

"What was that?" She asked 

"What was what?" He said walking around her trying to ignore her.

"That! With Greenpeace! Do you have a thing for her or something?" Alex asked running after him. By now Emma and Sean were waiting by the car, where they couldn't hear them talking.

"You got a thing for Cameron?" He wasn't in the mood for her right now. He really wasn't. They had interrupted things and he didn't want them to interrupt! And now she thought she could ask him questions?

"Thats none of your business." She said simply. But he wasn't having any of it. He turned around having Alex almost walk into him and got into her face alittle.

"It's none of my business if my girlfriend is doing my best friend? Ok well then its none of my girlfriends business if I like my best friends girlfriend now is it?" When Alex didn't say anything he knew he had won and turned and began to walk towards the car.


End file.
